Happy birthday!

It's unbelievable how you've grown over your first year! You're growing so fast I sometimes worry that I won't be able to keep up. Just yesterday you figured out how to put the circle and triangle blocks into their slots.

You've changed my life in ways I never imagined. I'll stand beside you wherever you go and I'll be wherever you need me.

Look who's talking now

Although we don't always understand it, babies are constantly talking to us. I find baby communication interesting because they aren't tied down by specific languages and their systems. We mostly use Chinese to communicate with Jasmine but mixed with some non-Chinese sounds.

She also uses some hand gestures to communicate. We use some gestures fairly consistently so she was able to learn them.

She did learn to do more than I expected. We taught her to signal when she goes poopoo, and she additionally learned to point at the changing pad as if to request a diaper change. We were only partially correct, because Jasmine is much smarter. My wife actually mentioned that she does this sometimes before the poopoo happens! She is actually training us back!

Prepare to be amazed

In a previous post I wrote a bit about magic and why it's so memorable. To adults, magic is memorable because it doesn't make sense according to our understanding of the world. Now think about a baby who understands even less about the world.

I also mentioned how important it is to be positive since everything is new and amazing to them, and they copy things that you do.

We teach them new things but there can be unintended consequences. For example, grandma wanted to teach Jasmine to kick a ball. Jasmine, of course, was amazed. She went around kicking everything.

To Jasmine: always look at things with awe and seek to learn about everything you can. We will teach you when we can, and learn together for the things we can't.

Run don't walk

A video of Will Smith recently appeared on my Facebook timeline. He talks about his experience on the days leading up to a skydiving trip. To quickly summarize (not to take away from his message), as adults most of our fear is unreasonable and we overthink and over analyze situations.

Babies operate fearlessly. Babies are fearless. After all their most frightening experience was being born. So as adults who have had time to learn about danger and think about things, we see babies do things that we think are dangerous.

Consider this. Decades ago things may not have been dangerous. Before electricity there were no outlets to poke forks into. Before candles there were no lights to knock over. Before ladders there were no places that were hard to access to get into danger (OK, maybe trees).

Now that has changed and everything needs to be blocked from baby. The stairs, the outlets, the garbage bin, the cat, dad. Yes, the baby can fall from the stairs and get hurt. Yes, the outlet can shock. Yes, the garbage bin has garbage. Yes, the cat may scratch. Yes, dad might... Never mind that.

As part of learning they need to take risks. They need to learn what is danger. I'm all for protecting our children against dangers, but there is a point at which it becomes overprotective and causes problems down the road. What is that point? I don't know, but as parents we are always looking out for them and providing the best for them. Give them a safe place to adventure. Jasmine loves to climb, so we give her a place to fall safely because she will fall. Falling is not a failure - it is valuable experience about physical limits. 

My wife is the best when it comes to teaching children. Children need to be able to explore and experiment on their own and make decisions on their own. It is our job as parents to allow the opportunity for that to happen. Very little comes from negativity - it has controversially defined an entire generation known as Millenials. Encouragement and positivity are powerful to children that fear nothing.

I tried to write this entry as if I was speaking at a conference. I've been watching some presentations by Vinh Giang lately about how to make people believe and about perspective in life. I've also been trying to look at life from Jasmine's perspective (it's also the entire goal of this blog). Jasmine constantly amazes me. Jasmine constantly amazes Mom. We are always surprised where she learned to do certain things, like use a stool to reach higher shelves, or walk around the table to the other side where something is closer. Should this amaze us? More importantly, does this amaze Jasmine?

Some closing thoughts.

Jasmine does fear things. She fears being left alone. She fears poop once in a while. But like Will Smith describes in his video, she only fears it at the time it happens. She doesn't think about when Mom and Dad will leave the room. She doesn't think about the next time she poops. She lives in the moment. Every experience is important to Jasmine no matter how small or how dangerous it might be. Every time she is amazed by an experience she will remember that forever. This is why magic can make such a lasting impression.

As children learn and try new things, adults can unconsciously hold them back. If they are learning to walk, why not try to run? In Chinese there is a phrase 未學行先學走, which simply translates to "learning to run before mastering walking". This Chinese teaching is absolutely correct because it highlights the importance of following steps when learning some things. However, taken literally, it does not make sense to a baby who see walking and running as the same thing - running does not follow walking, just like walking isn't necessarily preceded by crawling.

To Jasmine: run (or walk) to wherever your heart takes you. We will be right there with you.