Sharing is caring

Jasmine loves to share, and we are especially proud of that. She also loves to socialize with both adults and children. At one of the play time sessions at the community centre she was playing with a couple of siblings. They had a quick snack time at the same time and Jasmine insisted on sharing her favorite snack with the older girl sibling. The girl didn't notice Jasmine so she was chasing the girl all over the gym trying to offer the snack. I made sure to explain that she wasn't ignoring the offer but instead was distracted by the toys.

This was months ago when Jasmine first really started walking. These days she walks all around and takes in the sights of our local Costco. The couches and chairs are her favorite. But no matter what she makes sure to smile at people that pass by. Those that compliment her get a wave back in response.

She's not a baby anymore. She can't put together a whole sentence yet but she can communicate and she loves it. We love it too.

Inspirational!

Sometimes when you're in constant contact you can miss some of the changes that happen. Jasmine has grown so much taller but it's hard to tell because she grows a little bit every day. We notice it when suddenly one day she can reach an item we put high up on a shelf.

Other changes are noticeable. Jasmine is very outgoing and social. She knows how to test the limits of her parents and grandma. We know because she runs up to us to plant a big kiss to ask for permission (it works sometimes).

But it's her perseverance that is truly inspirational. If she wants to climb up somewhere she'll figure out a way. That might mean pulling up a stool, cushion, or my leg.

My wife always reminds me to be careful what I do and say. One of the most hilarious things is Jasmine copies how grandma calls Mom by her name. Of course we want Jasmine to refer to her mom as mom so we have to hide our amusement when she does it. This will be one to retell in the future.

No holds barred

I remember when I was a novice father (I'm still currently beginner level) I was so afraid of accidentally pulling out a tiny arm or tiny leg. Her head flopped around and her back gave no support.

15 months later she's running around and climbing everything. Lately we've been going to the playground a bit while the weather is still warm. She is getting more adventurous and going down the slide relying less on me for support.

I still worry about the little arms and legs but she's stronge now too. It's fun to wrestle a bit. She thinks it's fine to use moves like "finger-down-throat" or "nose-bite".

It's off to work we go!

Mama leaves for work early so Jasmine is usually still asleep, but I tend to be there when she awakens. Generally she is quite content after a good sleep so she'll stick around pulling books off the shelf or hugging her giant bear.

Once in a while though she'll wake up before I do. Like I mentioned before she'll stay in the room playing but she can just as easily walk out and climb the stairs. One morning I was sleeping in a bit later than usual (I think it was a Saturday) and I try to glance around to make sure she's ok. I couldn't see her when I glanced around half awake so I thought, oh no, and dashed out to find her before she gets hurt. She wasn't anywhere. I went back to the room to find that she had rolled into a corner that she usually doesn't roll into.

Lately I had been going in to work a bit later in the morning to keep an eye on Jasmine before Grandma wakes up. When Jasmine sees Grandma she runs right over and gives her a big hug. If I ask Jasmine for a hug she will hug Grandma tighter. It's quite cute. Jasmine likes to help me get ready for work by bringing my shoes, but when I'm finally heading out she realizes I'm leaving and wants me to pick her up. How can I refuse? Eventually we wave bye-bye and I will return in a few hours.

Happy birthday!

It's unbelievable how you've grown over your first year! You're growing so fast I sometimes worry that I won't be able to keep up. Just yesterday you figured out how to put the circle and triangle blocks into their slots.

You've changed my life in ways I never imagined. I'll stand beside you wherever you go and I'll be wherever you need me.

Look who's talking now

Although we don't always understand it, babies are constantly talking to us. I find baby communication interesting because they aren't tied down by specific languages and their systems. We mostly use Chinese to communicate with Jasmine but mixed with some non-Chinese sounds.

She also uses some hand gestures to communicate. We use some gestures fairly consistently so she was able to learn them.

She did learn to do more than I expected. We taught her to signal when she goes poopoo, and she additionally learned to point at the changing pad as if to request a diaper change. We were only partially correct, because Jasmine is much smarter. My wife actually mentioned that she does this sometimes before the poopoo happens! She is actually training us back!

Prepare to be amazed

In a previous post I wrote a bit about magic and why it's so memorable. To adults, magic is memorable because it doesn't make sense according to our understanding of the world. Now think about a baby who understands even less about the world.

I also mentioned how important it is to be positive since everything is new and amazing to them, and they copy things that you do.

We teach them new things but there can be unintended consequences. For example, grandma wanted to teach Jasmine to kick a ball. Jasmine, of course, was amazed. She went around kicking everything.

To Jasmine: always look at things with awe and seek to learn about everything you can. We will teach you when we can, and learn together for the things we can't.

Run don't walk

A video of Will Smith recently appeared on my Facebook timeline. He talks about his experience on the days leading up to a skydiving trip. To quickly summarize (not to take away from his message), as adults most of our fear is unreasonable and we overthink and over analyze situations.

Babies operate fearlessly. Babies are fearless. After all their most frightening experience was being born. So as adults who have had time to learn about danger and think about things, we see babies do things that we think are dangerous.

Consider this. Decades ago things may not have been dangerous. Before electricity there were no outlets to poke forks into. Before candles there were no lights to knock over. Before ladders there were no places that were hard to access to get into danger (OK, maybe trees).

Now that has changed and everything needs to be blocked from baby. The stairs, the outlets, the garbage bin, the cat, dad. Yes, the baby can fall from the stairs and get hurt. Yes, the outlet can shock. Yes, the garbage bin has garbage. Yes, the cat may scratch. Yes, dad might... Never mind that.

As part of learning they need to take risks. They need to learn what is danger. I'm all for protecting our children against dangers, but there is a point at which it becomes overprotective and causes problems down the road. What is that point? I don't know, but as parents we are always looking out for them and providing the best for them. Give them a safe place to adventure. Jasmine loves to climb, so we give her a place to fall safely because she will fall. Falling is not a failure - it is valuable experience about physical limits. 

My wife is the best when it comes to teaching children. Children need to be able to explore and experiment on their own and make decisions on their own. It is our job as parents to allow the opportunity for that to happen. Very little comes from negativity - it has controversially defined an entire generation known as Millenials. Encouragement and positivity are powerful to children that fear nothing.

I tried to write this entry as if I was speaking at a conference. I've been watching some presentations by Vinh Giang lately about how to make people believe and about perspective in life. I've also been trying to look at life from Jasmine's perspective (it's also the entire goal of this blog). Jasmine constantly amazes me. Jasmine constantly amazes Mom. We are always surprised where she learned to do certain things, like use a stool to reach higher shelves, or walk around the table to the other side where something is closer. Should this amaze us? More importantly, does this amaze Jasmine?

Some closing thoughts.

Jasmine does fear things. She fears being left alone. She fears poop once in a while. But like Will Smith describes in his video, she only fears it at the time it happens. She doesn't think about when Mom and Dad will leave the room. She doesn't think about the next time she poops. She lives in the moment. Every experience is important to Jasmine no matter how small or how dangerous it might be. Every time she is amazed by an experience she will remember that forever. This is why magic can make such a lasting impression.

As children learn and try new things, adults can unconsciously hold them back. If they are learning to walk, why not try to run? In Chinese there is a phrase 未學行先學走, which simply translates to "learning to run before mastering walking". This Chinese teaching is absolutely correct because it highlights the importance of following steps when learning some things. However, taken literally, it does not make sense to a baby who see walking and running as the same thing - running does not follow walking, just like walking isn't necessarily preceded by crawling.

To Jasmine: run (or walk) to wherever your heart takes you. We will be right there with you.

Radio flyer tricycle

We've researched and bought a lot of baby gear over the past year. While not everything was a great purchase some definitely stand out better than others.

Enter the Radio Flyer.

It's listed as a 4-in-1 tricycle that can be used starting from 6 months.

Setting it up was easy. Just follow the instructions making sure you're using the correct screws. It took me about 30 minutes to put it together.

I was a bit nervous the first time going out with Jasmine but she definitely enjoyed it. Since she is facing forward I couldn't see her reactions while we were walking. Pushing one handed I could walk by her side but that made it difficult to turn. The pusher handle connects to the front handlebars so the adult can turn the wheel. The pedals can also disengage from the front wheel so their little feet won't be caught while I'm pushing.

I originally had one of the seat straps too tight. This caused her to lean to one side to escape the strap. It also made her dangle her foot closer to the ground. I was constantly worrying that she would scrape her foot until I loosened it a little.

Overall it is well designed and sturdy so far. It will serve us well for the next few years as Jasmine learns to control her body better.

Moving right along

It has been a while since my last update and Jasmine has grown so much. Over the last month, she:
Climbed stairs
Clapped
Climbed her toys
Pushed a stool to reach higher
Climbed down things
Walked multiple steps

She really loves climbing, but she's also starting to walk! I suppose that to her walking is not risky like climbing so it doesn't really worry her. Luckily she isn't trying to climb shelves.

Happy Mother's Day!

I will never fully know what being a mother is like. Being a father is already so overwhelming, it doesn't make sense how it can be any more, but that's exactly what a mother feels.

For Jasmine it has been just over 9 months but her growth and transformation has been so fast. Suddenly she's interested in everything and can't wait until she can walk/run everywhere she can possibly go. This is most definitely because her mother is the best in the world and has given her everything she needs to succeed. With her mother's encouragement and support, it's no wonder Jasmine can feel completely safe while exploring her world.

Happy Mother's Day! I can only dream of being even 1% of what her mother means to Jasmine.

First day of school

Yes, Jasmine is only 9 months old now, but we've already been bombarded with things like RESP and infant classes. It's good to have a plan to start saving for higher education and definitely good to go to early infant classes. What I'm thinking about is a bit further in the future.

There have been many articles and tweets about the current state of our education systems in North America. Things in Ontario seem to be much like other jurisdictions in North America. When I was finishing up high school Ontario started rolling out standardized testing. In some ways I think I was lucky to not be a part of that.

In theory, standardized testing seems like a good idea - it ensures that students across the province are learning at least the basics prescribed by a standard test. There are a lot of opinions on whether or not this works. To me it brings up a few issues. I'm not an expert on education and I'm potentially only brushing the surface with these points.

With standard tests, the curriculum is only teaching the absolute minimum to pass the test.

I absolutely believe this to be true. With news everywhere of resource shortages, there's no way a public system will spend any more time than needed. Using math as an example, if the test only requires knowledge of addition and subtraction, there's no incentive to teach multiplication and division. Obviously this is overly simplified as an example. As a result, kids that are faster learners are being held back even more than they used to be.

Common-core

One of the major criticisms is that tests require adhering to the common-core method. I'll have to start figuring this out before my daughter gets to this point so that I can be able to explain why anyone would use this method, since this was not taught while I was in school. People tend to hate the method because it introduces additional (unnecessary) steps, but I've also seen the argument about why it's good. It seems to make sense to me, but time will tell. The examples that were shown using common-core were overly simple. I could understand why people complained, but think back to our childhood - sometimes we were required to show our work. We sometimes lost marks for not showing our work that we assumed was obvious.

As long as my daughter is learning well, that is all that matters. Standard tests may be a necessary evil, but it shouldn't stop us from teaching above and beyond the requirements. Jasmine is a smart girl already - I'm sure she'll be able to figure out common-core or whatever other method becomes the standard by the time the testing comes up.

I like to move it move it

A few weeks ago Jasmine figured out how to sit herself up, and quickly followed that with crawling. It's really amazing to see her progress.

But with the newfound freedom she has discovered, she also started to hate being stuck. In the car seat. In the high chair. In my arms. Mom's arms are ok though.

Understandably, she wants to move around and explore but it's learning quickly that she's only there temporarily. As an example, when we first buckle her up into the car seat she wiggles around to try to get free. She's not really upset by it, just trying to get out if possible. After about 30 seconds of protesting she settles in. Sometimes she'll even fall asleep.

What I really think, though, is that she gets bored being strapped in. This is also true for some adults (the ones who stop at every service station on a road trip). Lately she has been sitting in the child seat of shopping carts. She'll complain once in a while but generally doesn't mind it. There is a lot to look at during the shopping trip.

Final thoughts: whenever possible, let her roam around. She needs to experience things for herself. If she's happily playing on her own, let her. If she's a little closer to risky areas, get ready to stop her. Most importantly, let her know that it's safe to play and warn and watch when it's not.

Can't touch this!

Over the past week and a bit, Jasmine gained the strength and courage to do more. I've known that she had been wanting to stand up for a while now as we've been practicing. Suddenly one day she figured out how to get up on her own!

Fast forward 1 week.

This post has taken me a while to write and since I put it on pause, Jasmine has started to crawl consistently and even able to stand unassisted for a few seconds! She has always been curious and now she has figured out the ability to move to take a closer look.

Already she is crawling over to furniture to stand up, and many times things that were stacked up are knocked over. Luckily for now these stacks are only folded clothes and her books, but this brings me to the main topic.

When I was a little kid I don't remember my house being child proofed very much. I climbed up and down the stairs and I don't recall opening cupboards and drawers to play with whatever is inside. I do remember the power outlets having the covers. My two younger brothers definitely didn't have child proofing or I would have remembered it. My first encounter would be for my cousins, who were only a few years younger than me. The kitchen cupboards had the inner locks. I found it annoying because I was trying to get cups or something.

These days, child proofing is at a different level. I do agree that some things need to be child proofed, especially if items can't be moved for whatever reason. For example, drawers containing knives, cupboards containing chemicals, and stairways should be blocked off. I say should, because I think some kids are less inclined to get into that kind of trouble. Really though, the main goal is preventing these accidents (because kids don't mean to do it... right?). At the same time, putting that trust in the kids gives them immense responsibility, self-awareness, and critical analysis. Of course, parental supervision is always required. I'm not saying to leave knives lying around, but sometimes things that are more difficult to get might be more rewarding in their young minds.

Child proofing is scary. I'm saying this as an adult because when I look at things they look quite sturdy. When you think about how a child might climb something, it suddenly looks much more dangerous than it needs to be. Perhaps this is a good thing to be worried about but you can also be too safe. Kids need to be able to learn risk and to assess it. Overprotective parents could prevent learning this ability to assess risk because the parents are always taking that risk away. There's a difference between tying down that TV that could fall over and disinfecting every blade of grass the baby might sit on.

I chews you!

Jasmine has been teething for a few months now but it's always amazing to actually see the two cute little teeth when she smiles. We were always enamoured with her toothless smile, but the two-toothed smile is just as great. She has a very captivating smile.

Although teething seems to bother her a bit, she seems to be handling it quite well with the chew toys. More excitingly, it's a great honour when she chooses you as her chew toy. I chews, chews, chews you!

Up and atom!

Exciting news this week as it's the first time Jasmine pulled herself up to a wobbly standing pose! She really likes standing up and we've done a bit of training but she always had help getting up. Next, figuring out how to get to the sitting position.

One great item we managed to find is one of those wheeled walkers. They are unfortunately not sold in Canada as there have been incidents involving these things and stairs, which means parents aren't responsible enough to watch their own children. With just a little sense it's perfectly safe and Jasmine will love it once she figures out how to walk forward. Just last week there was the viral video interview on BBC where the guy's kids wander into his room while on air. The second kid was walking in on one of the wheeled walkers. Without that the video wouldn't have been quite as hilarious. Granted it was in Korea and his home probably didn't have stairs, but it could still have things that the walker could knock over.

As a segue to the next point, Jasmine is getting to the stage where she is constantly reaching for things and pulling them. She isn't crawling around yet but it could happen any time, so now is the time to start thinking about tying down things that should not be moving. Luckily there are only a couple things that are potentially dangerous so I think I have that covered. Keeping an eye out for sales on nuts and bolts.

Hot or not?

After being a parent for a few months and looking at tons of baby gear, I have a pretty good idea of what's great and what's great only if you have extra dust to collect. Of course some things can come in handy but overall these are really parent gear more than baby gear. I'm only including the things that we have at home. These are some of my choices, in no particular order:

Hot

• Bumbo seat - for a baby that has a bit of head control, it really helps keeping the body upright. It looks like it could be uncomfortable but I think babies like it because they can sit like the grown ups.
• Jumping station - Aside from the toys connected, the ability to exercise the legs is great. Baby definitely needs head control but it looks like it helps develop torso and leg control as well. 
• Newborn mittens - prevents scratching the face. 
• Sleep sack - No more worrying about baby getting cold overnight, and it's cute. If there was an adult version...
• Baby carrier - Wearing baby frees up both hands to do things and lets sore arms rest. Keeping baby close is also great and keeps both of us warm.
• Snot sucker - Imagine your nose was stuffed and couldn't blow your nose. Now imagine mommy or daddy coming to your rescue with the snot sucker. 

Not

• Bassinet - Only used once in a while, I would say she probably didn't like it because it blocked her view.
• Pacifier - not entirely a flub, but it's not absolutely required. Baby will figure out something else to do. There is some discussion that it harms a baby's growing mouth.
• Infant swing - only useful while the baby is stuck in one position and not all infants like the swing motion.

While a lot of these help the parent more than the baby, the baby's preference will steer choices more than anything. After all, a baby that hates some gear will be an unhappy baby no matter how much you might like the design and features (oh, all those extra pockets). I'll be sure to review some more gear in upcoming posts.

Heading on up!

It's always amazing how much can change in such a short time. It seems like Jasmine only began sitting comfortably on her own not too long ago (it was actually almost 3 months ago). Soon after that she wanted to try standing. When I put my hands near her feet while she's sitting, she would pick up my hand and prompt me to pull her up. Amazing.

Just the other day she was holding herself standing on the activity mat. Mommy mentioned that it was about 2 minutes of standing before plopping down (there was plenty of time to grab a camera). Two minutes! It has only been a couple days since that time but she hasn't held herself up again yet. She does love standing up though, even if her feet aren't quite in the correct orientation or in a good starting position.

A little less recently, her teeth began showing. The bottom two teeth were causing her a bit of pain and had a little trouble sleeping. Her teeth have emerged quickly and I would say they are about 25% out. When she smiles you can see them standing proudly.

Sleep patterns have changed too. It's no wonder - teething, standing, understanding the world, all at the same time. She is growing so fast and furiously. She's not slowing down for anyone. Sometimes I wish that she could be the little ball of heat again, but I wouldn't give up anything if it meant changing how healthy and strong she is now. I can't wait until the day I am chasing her around the supermarket or hearing her run to the door to greet me as I return home from work.

Happy 7 months!

Happy 7 months Jasmine!

You've grown so quickly right under our noses. You used to be floppy (but not weak!) and I was always worried about your wobbly neck. I wanted to sit you up for a quick photo, using pillows to keep you upright. I worried about your head snapping back or your face getting smothered into my shoulder while you slept in my arms.

Then one day your neck became stronger and you could look around while I carried you. You still had a tough time controlling your muscles though so your head bobbled around sometimes. I could carry you while you slept for over an hour because I didn't want to wake you by putting you down (and I didn't want to put you down).

Today you're so strong you can stay sitting on your own. You try so hard to stand up so you can run around chasing mom and grandma around, and to run to the door when I get home from work. You can't crawl yet but you can wiggle your butt and sneak across the floor.

I will always remember how I worried I might be burping your little body too hard, picking you up or putting you down too roughly, or twisting your little arms too much trying to get your clothes on.

While 7 months is not a traditional milestone, it is still a great opportunity to reflect. I will always be amazed at how much you have changed in these 7 months. Your personality has developed, you are determined and smart. Keep it up! I wish that you would stay like this longer but I can't be that selfish. I'll always have my memories to look back on.

Baby wearing!

I think I may have written about this before, but now is a good time to come back to this. After almost 7 months, we have tried out a few different baby carriers. My wife likes to use the Baby Bjorn series. I used Aeroplan points to redeem a Lillebaby.

The Baby Bjorn series is really easy to use and simple to put on. Two colour coded hooks hold baby up while double sided clips snap to form a head rest. We have a few different Baby Bjorns. They all have pretty much the same features. The newer ones have a little better back support and padded straps. With Jasmine at 7 months, the weight can quickly take a toll on the shoulders. We haven't tried other configurations yet (inward facing only so far) but it seems like most Baby Bjorns only support the one setting.

The Lillebaby is a lot more complex to use but also much more comfortable. Overall it's a bit heavier with the padding but I feel that it has much better support overall. When I initially tried it with Jasmine she couldn't get used to the feeling. Now that she is older I may try the outward facing mode. She loves reaching out and grabbing things so I think it will be interesting for her to try.

Let me know about your experiences with baby carriers!

It has been a while

A lot has happened in the world since my last post. Let's start with the fun stuff.

Jasmine has grown so much that it's hard to imagine that she was so tiny only a few months ago. She started eating food a couple of months ago. Here is her catalog of foods:

• Milk
• Oat cereal
• Water
• Cucumber
• Lettuce
• Rice cereal
• Rice cracker
• Banana
• Orange

She loves water. Or maybe it's the bottle. Whatever it is, she tries to snatch it away from us when we're drinking. She also drinks directly from the bottle. It's cute.

Also over the last few months we've gotten more gear! She will be outgrowing her current car seat any day now so I installed the new seat over the long weekend, the Diono Radian rXT. 

Reviews for this seat were decent overall, with the most common complaints that it is fairly heavy and difficult to install. I would say that it is definitely heavier than the bucket we used before, but the weight shouldn't be a major issue since it won't be moving very often. Installation was somewhat difficult since the rear facing installation with LATCH only connected at the two points. It was hard to get tight enough so it wasn't swinging around. I ended up tethering the top to the front seat rail. It is also much taller so whoever sits in the front passenger side won't have much leg space. I will have to reinstall it in a month or so if I take the car to swap out the winter tires.